Deranged

*I’m tired and didn’t want to write very much. Sorry. I miss you all, and hope you’re all surviving. 🙂

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My entire life feels like I’m treading water.

Like I slept past my alarm.

I’m scrambling through time, disconected from everything, understanding nothing, and wishing I could get it all together.

My voice is distant when I talk, and I can never really hear what I’m saying.

I’m watching my body preform memorized tasks, and stumble through learning new ones. I never jump in and help it. I just let myself drift through day to day activities.

My head dreams about anything unrelated to myself, desperate to escape the chaos I have become.

I’m mentally impared, and can’t function without music. Breathing seems to be the only think keeping my body awake, keeping my soul alive. Though even that is becoming harder to do.

The world is crumbling before my eyes, through pandemics and tremors in the ground, and I feel helpless.

At least the end of the world brings me some consolation, because when I go, I’m taking everyone else with me.