My life is like ice cream, temporarily frozen, but soon to be thawed.

*Blue Ticket Post*

-I got “Ice Cream” which only mildly relates to this post…. I really did try to make it work, but it just came out like this….

I used to be cold, frozen in the ridges of happiness.

I would dance around knowing nothing could break my foundation.

That this God everyone believes in, I believed in too.

There was nothing unsure about my personality or my self confidence.

Everything I knew was set in stone,

Black and white.

.

But now, the colors have merged into silvers and grays.

Smokey clouds and foggy atmospheres.

The world isn’t clear to me anymore.

And the home I used to call my protection,

I’ve realized is surrounded by iron bars.

The corners I used to cradle myself in has become suffocating,

The taste of home I used to crave has become bland.

I didn’t want to doubt,

Didn’t want to lose the comfort of familiarity.

I tried so hard to want it.

Tried to fit back into the shoes I wore as a child.

Back when mistakes didn’t feel important,

And crying didn’t feel discouraged.

Back before my head was in a constant haze,

Before the ridges cracked into caverns

Feeding on every hairline fracture of my self esteem.

.

But now, I’ve stopped trying to fit into those scrappy sneakers.

I’ve realized how worn and tattered they’ve become

From trying to adjust my foot size to fit their shape

Instead of the other way around.

I’ve cut through the bars encasing me, allowing the sun to peak in slightly more.

Allowing my trenches to thaw and fuse,

The stiffness replaced with mobility.

I still live in the same four walls,

I just altered them to fit my style a little bit more.

And yeah, maybe I let the fog slip in,

Let it discolor the perfect black and white world set up for me.

But at least I can breathe in the scent of fresh rain,

Then sigh, and be content,

For just a moment.

.

-The Splintered Pencil