Blanket the Fear, Ignore It, It’s Better That Way

*Fears Post*

My family says I have too much irrational fear.

That I should face the simple worries that make my

Hands shake.

And I tell them I will,

Tell them I’ll confront the stupid thoughts

That make it hard to function everyday.

Tell them my head’s not a tornado

Spinning the rollar coaster I put myself on.

But instead, a peaceful breeze with minor disturbances.

And I tell them those disruptions are easy to face,

Easy to terminate.

I don’t tell them I’m afraid of my fears rising.

Because I’m expected to deal with them myself.

.

I don’t tell them I’m afraid of being alone

For the rest of my life, even though I crave lonliness.

Don’t tell them I save every penny

Because debt is a monster with too tight of a grip on me.

Don’t tell them that sometimes getting out of bed is scary-

Yet the jaws underneath the covers are equally as frightening.

Don’t tell them the thoughts in my head terrify me,

Or that anxiety holds my vulnerability by the throat.

.

I don’t tell them because all I get is

Half hearted “I’m sorrys” and disinterested looks.

Frustrated “suck it ups” and pressure to just get it over with.

I don’t say anything because I’ve learned it’s a burden,

One that only I should bear.

.

-The Splintered Pencil