I Was Never Good at Goodbyes

*Goodbye Post*

Goodbyes were never my strong suit.

I never learned to say them because there was always too much emotion attached.

Too much barricaded on the tip of my tongue that I could never let out.

.

There was never a responce from my lips to my mother’s hasty “goodbye” when I left.

She used to get mad at me for that.

But now it’s become our routein everyday.

A memorized farewell, and a quick smile followed by a swinging door.

I can never bring myself to say it, I don’t know why.

To everyone else, there was always a “see ya later” or “peace out,” sometimes even just “bye”.

Because somehow that feels less real.

Less final.

.

So this isn’t a goodbye.

This isn’t a farwell lovingly said at funerals, just to meet again years later atop another deathbed.

This isn’t the peaking point of my emotional rollarcoaster,

I’m not about to feel trapped butterflies you created from the words your minds weaved.

I’m not about to shut my eyes until it’s over and forget the feeling of having you all here.

This isn’t a termination of connections.

I won’t think about a future without you all in it.

And because my path stays here for another semester, I refuse to watch yours all diverge.

.

Goodbyes were never my strong suit.

But this isn’t a goodbye,

This is a see you later.

.

-Breann, The Splintered Pencil

4 thoughts on “I Was Never Good at Goodbyes

  1. i once said “see you later” to a person i thought i’d never see again.
    it’s not hard to see that i’ve never been good at goodbyes either… (i’m not great at introductions or responses either though… haha)
    there’s too much attached to everything, i suppose.

    but now the person i said “see you later” to thinking i’d never see again is coming back, at least for a few days. and i kinda wish that our goodbye had been final, when back then i’d never have wished that. it’s weird how it’s changed and i have no clue what that means or why i’m commenting this but anyway this post was beautiful and i loved it and also your note ๐Ÿ™‚ i hope we can meet sometime too

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