Everything I Can’t Remember

*First Lines Post*

Inspiration tank is empty, but here’s this anyway

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“Has your heart ever been a hoarder?”

Mine has.

Filled it’s chambers with compliments and acts of love

Only to watch it all fade away.

Leaving behind the ashes of it’s existence.

I shove the dust into my veins,

Packing it in the left ventrical.

.

Hoping somehow, the spark can return,

And burn forever.

Making my heart full, complete.

Hoping it won’t snuff out and leave me with an echo

I can’t get rid of.

But I just keep smothering the flames with my cold hands

Keeping them tucked in close,

Because I can’t afford to let them go.

I never know when I’ll get more to replace the hole inside.

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I’m given more love than I hand out,

But couldn’t tell you the last time I felt loved.

Because every compliment gets lost

In the tunnel system I’ve dug in my heart.

And now, it’s gotten so full of forgotten kindness

That I’ve started denying light to enter.

Because I’m afraid I don’t have any space left

After refusing to let go of everything I can’t remember.

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-The Splintered Pencil