Motivation

I have none, yet I should.

Right?

Because now I have more time,

And I’ve grown tired of watching movies,

Tired of scrolling through instagram,

Tired of sleeping.

But still, I procrastinate.

Even though I’m desperately searching

For anything to do,

I still don’t do school.

I’d rather waste my time

pondering over canceled vacations,

And dreaming of a normal life.

.

The thing is,

I never agreed to put my life on hold,

It was just an order,

An expectation.

All in the name of saving lives.

But I think I’ve already died,

Sucked away, when I vacumed the floors

For the 15th time.

Wilted, when I continued to stare out the window

Day after day.

Manic, when somehow the rubber pencil

Has become the most facinating thing again.

.

The days are long,

And the nights are empty.

I have so much to do.

But everyday I wonder,

How can I escape reality?